(Antonio from Twlefth Night speaks)
Sebastian, is that you? It's so nice to see you again! You look absolutely fabulous darling. The boys back on the ship were getting a little rowdy so we decided to make a quick stop at Illyria, which had me thinking about the time we spent together.
It wasn't the best start to a relationship, of course, but I can clearly recall holding you in my arms and pulling you away from the rough seas that threatened to take your life away. We became close so quickly. Eventually we left the familiarity of the ship and arrived on land. The area was new to you, so I figured I'd show you the nightlife. Remember that stylish Gucci purse I whipped out later, so you would have money for some trinkets? Genuine leather, it was such a steal! I also made us reservations to stay at the Elephant, the most chic hotel in town. Oh, those three months we spent every day (and every night) together!
And then you left me.
I begged and pleaded, even said I'd be your servant, but you left.
No matter, love; we had worse times than that! After, all Orsino's men wanted me. Don't smirk at me like that, I mean they wanted to arrest me. The Duke wasn't too thrilled after word got on the last...confrontation we had. What did he call it, a battle at sea?
That pageboy he was so close to might remember.
Miscommunications put aside, I have nothing but fond memories of our time together. When I found out that you were a twin, I remember thinking of all the things we could do if there were two of you! That day ended our intimate relationship, and I've longed to see you ever since. Being apart from you feels like going without a manicure for months. Life at sea does a number on these hands!
What's that? You just got married? That's wonderful! Why would I be upset? Yes, I know we were very close but...
Sebastian! I am most denfinitely not gay. Besides, you're not my type. But before you go, tell your sister that I'll be waiting at the Elephant.