**"You're gonna regret this! I promise you!" **

Hearts were made to remember everything, especially the past. . . but why? Why can we forget amazing, beautiful childhood memories and remember the most heart-breaking ones? It's not fair that that's what you are to me. You should be my best happiness right now, kissing my forehead, and whispering your life-long secrets into my ear. But your lips are nowhere in sight, and they exist in my mind only of you saying your goodbye's. Your final words of us. "We used to say one day, we’d tell the story of us. ." That song by Taylor Swift, but our story is being told a little earlier than I'd like.

You know that saying, "A good magician never tells his secrets." I'd like to know yours, how you could fall in love with me, only to walk away in victory with BOTH of our hearts as your prize. No; you didn't leave me yours, you just picked it up from the pile that was my mess of feelings. I wanted to keep it, take care of it and heal it alongside mine. But you had no time to leave it I guess.

People tell me I have a right to be upset with you, but I don't feel that I do. Sure, you left quicker than I thought possible, but I can't blame you for being taken away from me like that. You didn't mean for it to happen, sometimes that's how life is handed to us. But that's okay, because you were handed to me for a little while.

Sometimes I think back to before you left, which is so hard it hurts. I guess that's how we forget our good memories, because it hurts to see how we used to be so happy and now we're so sad; the pain of a smile is unbearable, especially one that's been forgotten. But like I said, I still force those memories through my brain, like video clips.

Yes, it's hard. But the smile you have in them is mesmerizing; I love looking at it. I can't stop, and the look in your eyes when you'd look at me . . . I could tell you didn't want anyone else, not at all. It's like I'm seeing us as an outsider, someone that didn't know the personal us, just the public. Which is okay, because that way I can ignore all of our problems, and just enjoy the memory.

Not a day goes by that I don't think back to the night you drove down to the lake with your buddies. Our biggest blow out ever.

***We were on the phone and you were telling me about it, and I didn't want you to go. I didn't have a problem with you hanging out with your friends, I just thought going to the lake that late was odd . . . and besides, a group of girls were going with you guys.

"You're gonna regret this! I promise you!" I screamed those words at you, I hung up on you. I was jealous, being immature, being afraid to lose you. 10:30 rolled around, I fell asleep. 3:30 in the morning I get a phone call, you're usually drunk buddy Eric was unusually sober. . And crying. "I'm sorry Layla, I'm sorry. It's Lucas . . . we don't know how it happened. We went out deep to swim, farther than usual. . . the seaweed wrapped around his leg. . . before we understood he wasn't playing he didn't come back up. . . we got him back up on the shore, but he wouldn't breath. He won't. . . “His voice faded out, I wasn't going to listen to him. No, he was lying. It was a dream, a horrible nightmare. "Layla? Come to the hospital, he'd want you to be the first thing he saw if he woke up."

I didn't even think about it, I just realized I was in the parking-lot. No bra, hair a mess, completely numb. No tears had fallen yet, but my heart hadn't quit thumping against my rib-cage. I asked for your room, and I went straight to it. Eric hugged me, crying, John was there with Tommy and Corey. They all had red, puffy eyes from their sorrows. Eric let me go, and walked right out of the room. The girls that had gone with y’all were outside the door, and you all hugged each other once everyone was outside.

I turned the corner and there you were. I screamed, and the tears poured out. No breathing machine, no IV's. Nothing, you were pale, your lips were blue. Your heart monitor was off. You were gone. I ran to you in a blur, not seeing anything. "Oh my God! Oh my God why!? No, no, no, no, no, no! LUCAS! Lucas it's me! It's Layla, come back to me! I'm here, I'm waiting for you! I promise I'm here!" I sat beside you and took your hand, too cold to be yours. "Wait for me there, like we promised, wait for me at Heaven's gates." I whispered, and I laid my head on your chest and kissed your hand.

***You left me. I am now Snow White without her seven dwarfs. I'm the one gazing down at your casket. I'm the twinkling little star wondering where you are. . . You left me; broke my heart, but it wasn't your fault. "You're gonna regret this! I promise you!" Eric told me that night, out of rage, out of anger and out of pain. "Yes, Layla, you will. Because he wanted you to come too. He wanted to propose." And he walked away. . .