Dear Earth,
Why do we have heat? It nurtures the life in our bodies, it gives life to our food: animals , plants and such, and it is needed in the ecosystem as a necessity. But does it have to be so sweltering that we're drowning in our own sweat? That there is no escape and that we are trapped in its clutches? The heat burns the back of my neck as I write this but there is nowhere else to go. The heat is everywhere and I can't find nowhere. Personally, I quite prefer the cold.



An inhabitant,




The complainer.


Dear Complainer,
You will have as you wish. I will confine you to an eternal blizzard and I hope you enjoy yourself.



Sincerely,



Earth.
Dear Earth,
Oh no, no, no. That's not what I meant! It's just that... oh it's very hard to explain! You see, when it's hot, we humans want cold. And when it's cold, we want heat, understand? So when I say I prefer the cold, it means that when there is cold, I can escape it by just wearing a simple coat! But when it is hot, there is no coat that can relieve me. I hope that clarifies things.



An inhabitant,



The Complainer.
Dear Complainer,
Please, JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!



Sincerely,



Earth.
Dear Earth,
I really don't know. Maybe a variety of temperatures to balance things out?


An inhabitant,



The Complainer.
Dear Complainer,
You already have that. Please don't write to me ever again, if you're not going to make sense.



Sincerely,



Earth.
Dear Earth,
Humans rarely ever make sense. It's bad for their sanity.



An inhabitant,



The Complainer.
Dear Complainer,
That doesn't make sense either. Please, DO NOT WRITE TO ME EVER AGAIN.



Sincerely,



Earth.
Dear Earth,
Plea granted. It has been pleasant conversing with you.



Goodbye,



The Complainer.