Leaving | Teen Ink

Leaving

October 21, 2010
By Randhill BRONZE, Hanoi, Other
Randhill BRONZE, Hanoi, Other
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Diary of Mamoru

10th of September 2007
Hey Dai!
I finally decided to start a diary for myself! Yes, I know it’s kinda weird for a guy to write diaries (It’s girly… duh) but I like writing stuff and there are so much awesome things happening that I want to record!
But, before I start, Let me tell you about myself (just for the introduction. I decided to name you Dai by the way.)
I’m Mamoru, 14 as of right now (just had a birthday this summer!) and well, I live with my uncle in an apartment. My parents are in France. They’re fashion designers so they have to work abroad. I’m pretty fine living here with my uncles though!
I guess that’s enough. It’s not like you need to know about my personalities. You’ll get a lot of it as I write this! :D
So today; basically, it was awesome. My friends and I went to Odaiba today and watched this really awesome British guy’s street performance. The girls were like: “Please talk to me!”. And Soh, my best friend, also managed to get his signature so he can give it to a girl later or so he says. I can tell when he’s lying and he’s probably gonna give it to his brother or something but who cares! It was awesome and I really enjoyed it. And we went to McDonald’s for our dinner: My favorite dish of all time and space. And let me tell you something, I’m not fat, not at all. So I enjoyed the teriyaki burger and at around 8p.m, I was home. I know I live in an awesome life. But it’s like 10:30 now so I guess I’m going to stop for today. Still have school tomorrow!
Peace and be happy Dai!
Mamoru.

26th of May 2010
Hey Dai,
Today was…. Really bad I guess. There’s this news, I’m gonna write about it later. But not now. Right now, I’m going to start by telling you about my day as always.
This morning went alright, just the usual convenient store onigiri and the rush to school so nothing much happened.
But during the day, I really messed up in Math so when I gave up entirely, the teacher just gave me the look and I’m pretty sure he called my uncle (which, made him pretty p***ed off at dinner. I can read his face).
And then there was no literature today so I couldn’t have the joy of reading and writing stuff. Yikes >.<
That’s how the school day went. In the afternoon, I went around the town with Soh. The new school year feeling’s still there so not so much to study right now. I had a whole lot of fun and even met Haruka in the McDonald’s. We just… stared and moved right away but that really made me happy, well until I reach home anyways.
When I got back home, my parents dropped a bomb.
Here we go.
I am going to France in 2 months. It’s been decided. They thought it’d be best for me to live with them in Paris, studying in this Japanese school. I really don’t know what to do. It’s my fault isn’t it? It’s because I’ve messed up so much in math and things.
What can I do?
Help me Dai
Rest well
Mamoru.


27th May, 2010
Hey,
So yeah, I told the news to Soh and he was pretty cool about it. He said that even if I’m in France, it’s not like I’m not gonna see anybody ever again. Well, I may be overreacting. But it really seems like it’s the end of all. Chances are, I won’t see any of my friends again. Even if I come back, I’d lose track them and they’ll all be out of my life. I don’t want that to happen.
I don’t know Dai, it’s just… disappointing. It maybe because of me that wasn’t so close to them but being totally ignored like this….. Heck, I guess I AM overreacting.
Otherwise, today’s been an ordinary day. I had Literature and we had to make a Haiku so that was pretty cool. Don’t even talk about math though. The teacher’s making me do a whole lot of work and after yesterday, Math seems like the least I have to worry about so I sort of messed up… again. This afternoon, I sort of stayed at school to finish the school newspaper. Some things are just too hard to let go of, I’m pretty sure I’ll miss interviewing people and writing up stories when I’m in France.
Oh and one more thing: Do you think I should tell Haruka that I like her? I don’t know if that’s a good idea since I’m leaving and all. But then I may not get the chance again. I’m scared Dai, I’m scared that all this is going to have a bad ending. *sigh*, I’m guess I’m confusing you, but
Tell me what I should do Dai
Rest well
Mamoru

17th of July
Hey Dai,
The day’s coming close. The flight is on the 24th so I have exactly 1 week left in Japan, in Tokyo, heck, in everything.
I haven’t confessed to Haruka yet, not sure if I ever will. I’m such a coward am I not? But not only a coward, I’m a loner…
I feel isolated these days, seems like everything’s going away from me. I still talk to Soh and stuff but it’s not as close as it had been two months ago. There seems to be this invisible barrier that’s between us. And hah, don’t make me start about Haruka. I still look at her during class but it seems like we’re living in a totally different planet now. It’s just not what it’s used to be anymore. And I hate it, I really really hate it.
School’s not been that helpful either. I try to get distracted by studying with little success. Good thing the math teacher has given up on me. She just doesn’t care anymore. The Literature class isn’t as fun as it used to be. It’s just….. I can’t focus onto things anymore.
I spent this entire afternoon in the apartment room, sitting, watching TV, going on the Internet, doing homework… things I’ve never bothered to do before. I’m isolating myself from the others. I somehow know it but I just couldn’t get around it. Occasionally, I find myself looking out the windows. At what? I don’t know. But I feel really alone in those moments, lonely like an abandoned puppy.
Dai, you’ll be with me no matter what right?
Rest well
Mamoru

23rd of July
Hey Dai,
Final night in Tokyo. What’s weird is, it’s extremely calm. I’ve said my good byes but there were no emotions in them. I mean I think it’s not deep enough, not expressing what I really should say. And they said they’re going to miss me but I’m pretty sure they won’t. Who would miss a guy who have isolated himself from the all the others. Who would Dai? Even I would hate that guy. And it’s in our nature to move on with our lives. It’s not fair.
My life’s gonna change forever after today. Probably worse I guess, I don’t know if I can get back into shape in France. I only have one and a half year until graduation. I don’t know if that’s long enough. I’ll try Dai, I will but I don’t if I’m going to succeed or not.
These are the last words I’m going to write in Tokyo for a long time.
Rest well
Mamoru

25th of July, Paris France
Hey Dai
Umm….. I’m in Paris and something unexpected happened. I mean extremely unexpected. It happen in Narita airport while I was waiting for my plane.
My cell phone rang. And good thing I didn’t turn it off when I got to the airport too.
Guess who was on the other side? Haruka and Soh and everybody that they can gather in my class. While I was waiting for my plane they each talked to me saying goodbyes. It was…. Emotional, like a novel, except that I didn’t cry (well, that was a good thing to. There were too much people around me xD)
And that’s not the end of it. At the end, Haruka took the phone again and dropped another bomb. I didn’t expect anything to surprise me at this stage but she said three exact words tha really and totally stunned me:
“I will wait”
That’s it, I said it. She said she’s gonna wait for me to come back. And heck, I will come back. Whatever it takes, I will come back. Seems like after I graduate, I’ll be able to go to whichever University I want in whichever country that I decide. Even if I can’t, I’ll convince my parents to let me do that. And I will go back to Japan, I will go to Tokyo Universit y. And I will meet Haruka and everyone else again. Quite a plan isn’t it? But I’ll make sure I’ll succeed. You can count on it.
Oh and I hope you like my new room. I actually do like it better than the one back in Japan. I still have to do a lot of work to improve and redecorate this though. Anyways,
Rest well and be happy, as always.
Mamoru


The author's comments:
As an International Student, I myself experienced a whole lot of movement and good byes so I guess that's the main inspiration of writing this task :)

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