It was a crisp autumn night and the stars were shining brightly. A rarity. Every breath stung and cut my lungs. My eyes are a mirror as I stare unfalteringly into yours. It makes you nervous, I can tell. You bite your nails, you act like this is a play we performed so many times the cues were no longer necessary. I take your fingers in my own, feeling the cracks, the rough patches. A worker’s hands. I was the scholar, my curves soft from sitting for too many hours, reading the words of wise men. You leave me empty as my questions fall on closed ears. I pretend like I don’t care. It’s weakness after all to let you in. That’s the thing about letting your guard down, it’s too risky. Like standing on the edge, there’s too much of a chance you will fall. Home runs, double plays are all you understand. My pink slicked lips purse, my eyes a pool of disappointment. You sense something is wrong, “I love you, you know that” you say gruffly. Sometimes those words are enough. I don’t know how to answer. When I am truly horrible, truly myself I ask if love is possible between us both. Maybe I regarded it too much of as a complicated equation and you see it as a simple win. We see this on opposite sides of the playing field. What I just couldn’t say was we aren’t playing on the same team