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The Last Words of Christopher Robin
Where is Pooh? He’s never on time anymore. He said he wanted to talk to me about all that’s been happening. Piglet was supposed to be here, too.
It all began that day we went to surprise Eeyore on his birthday. We walked up the hill and there he was, hanging by his own tail! We knew he got depressed from time to time, but this?
Then poor Gopher had D-Con in his water. At least he didn’t suffer! And Owl –somehow the landing strip lights blew to the edge of the cliff one night.
How can I ever forget Rabbit – planted beside his own tomatoes! Kanga and Roo went back to Australia after that. I wish I knew what was going on!
Piglet hasn’t been the same since Eeyore. I saw him the other day, sitting at his kitchen table with his 12 gauge in one little fist and a bottle of booze in the other. He’s been so high strung lately.
Ah, there’s a note from Pooh:
Dear Christopher Robin: I had to step outside for a moment. You go ahead and start eating. Oh, and I wanted to tell you ahead of time that we’re having a friend for lunch.
Aww, he made some nice sandwiches. Rye bread, lettuce, and…tomatoes. That’s disturbing... What’s this, bacon? But Pooh doesn’t eat bacon! Maybe the note explains.
"I’m tired of being exploited by children’s television executives. No, I won’t apologize for the things I’ve done, not even my new craving for BLT’s. I’m just sorry our friendship has to end like this."
What could that mean? And what’s that little box with the red numbers? 5, 4, 3…?
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