Local Boy Kidnapped Before Father’s Eyes

SAN PACIFICO, Australia-- Nemo G. Brooks, 6, was declared missing after Manta Elementary School reported him absent for several days without any notices from home. His father, Marlin Brooks, finally came forward to authorities yesterday confirming his kidnapping and, according to his account, little Nemo was taken right in front of his eyes.

“I saw it for myself, and I feel awful,” said Brooks. “We were in the middle of an ugly argument.. typical family stuff, mind you… and he started inching away from me out of spite. Once he got far enough away from me, an unrecognizable figure appeared out of nowhere, yoinked him, and disappeared just as quickly.”

While the kidnapper’s intentions are to be determined, this occurrence resembles another one of Brooks’ tragedies. Less than 7 years ago his wife, Coral Perkins, passed away after being attacked by a gang member formerly known by the community as “The Barracuda”. Research begins following the suggestion that the two events are connected. Brooks voiced his concerns to the local Missing and Unidentified Persons Center (MUPC).

“I fear I will have to relive that tragedy,” said Brooks. “Please help me find him!”

Head of the MUPC, Dory DeGenerous, has announced the search party’s commencement will go into effect starting tomorrow. 

“Rest assured,” said DeGenerous to the denizens of San Pacifico. “We will exhaust our available resources and chase the kidnapper thousands of miles to find Nemo!” 

DeGenerous has just started a Go-Fund-Me in support of Brooks to help mitigate his troubles, recently dubbed Just Keep Swimming (JKS).