I’ve always hated touch. I know it sounds very distant of me. But what can I say, it’s the truth. It doesn’t help that I’m a sea otter. One of the most cuddly animals to exist. Trust me, it’s been a struggle. All my friends don’t get it. I’m not even sure you could call them my friends. Let’s be honest, I’m not exactly the type of guy to want to be around others, let alone other otters. I’ve tried, really I have. But there’s no changing it. I’m just a disappointment to my raft. I don’t how to fix it either. As I said, I tried. 

   I wish I could just vanish and go off on my own. I have thought about it countless times. Yet there’s still something holding me back each time. It’s like I’m on the edge of a cliff ready to jump, and then there’s this invisible rope tying me to the ground. Once again, dark I know. Don’t worry though I’m fine, totally and completely fine. 

   Back in school when I was only a pup they would teach us about loyalty, and friendship. I didn’t get it then either. Was I born with an anti-sea otter chip in my brain? I mean that’s what it feels like. I am the exact opposite of what you would expect. Doesn’t like touch, doesn’t have any friends, wants to leave the raft. Like c’mon could it be any worse. And don’t even get me started about if someone found out I felt this way. Everyone just brushes it off and thinks I’m joking. But little do they know. 

   Every day seems to be another day of the same thing. I’m tired of it. I look over at the others in my raft having fun laughing and sincerely enjoying each other’s company. I wish that could be me. But it’s not. I’m that one black duck in a pond of all-white ducks. 

   Nighttime is definitely the worst. Buddy system they call it. I’m the last person that should have to participate in the buddy system. As you know the current of the ocean is strong. So when we sleep we link up together so we don’t drift apart. Let’s just say I wouldn’t mind drifting apart. It’s constant touch for hours upon hours at a time. Not to toot my own horn or anything but I can manage for a few minutes, an hour tops. However, hours on end every single night. That’s not something I enjoy in the slightest. I don’t get a blink of sleep. 

   And what am I supposed to do for the rest of my life? Be miserable 24/7? I can’t do that! I won’t do that! I refuse. I just don’t know how to get out of this endless cycle. It’s like a jump rope going round and round and I have to find the perfect way to jump out. The only question is how. Easier said than done though. I’m determined to change, for the better of course.