A pale pink, the number 21, a field of tulips, the last of winter snow melting. Did you think of the name Jessica? Like the smell of freshly baked cookies filling the house. The rich scent of semi-sweet chocolate chips with a dash of vanilla. It was the twinkle in an eye, chuckle of a family and a hug from your friend.  

My name didn’t always have those characteristics. Dylan Loyal, Leanna Victoria and Jessica. My name changed three times before I was even born. In the beginning I was supposed to be a boy named after my Grandpas name Loyal.

When they found out I was a girl, my mom wanted my name to be Leanna Victoria. Leanna came from my great aunt and Victoria from my grandpas middle name Victor. Even though my name didn’t turn out to be either of these at times I consider, what if they were?

If I had the name Dylan I would be a maze, my feelings hard to show and my personality difficult to figure out. A dark blue, like the color of the ocean waves crashing against rocks as a storm started. 

Very differently if my name was Leanna, I would be like a book. Filled with words, shy, artistic and soft.

Jessica, the first part came from Jessie, my moms nurse. She walked into the room, It had the smell of hand sanitizer like any hospital. The room was small with one bed and a chair next to it. Jessie helped my mom get prepared for her soon to be favorite daughter to come. After I was born my mom decided to name me Jessica after Jessie the nurse that helped her. 

Even though I got my name from a Jessie, I prefer just Jessica. Only a few people call me Jess. My most common nickname is from my family—smalls. Up until Freshmen year I didn’t grow, so for a big part of my life I was very short. Even though I am now around 5’7” and taller than my oldest sister, my family still calls me smalls.

I feel Jessica is a strong name even though it is connected to flowers and pink. I see a different side at times, an athletic and passionate side. Jessica’s have big personalities but don’t show it until you get close to them.

At school I’m quiet without my friends, however in most classes I try to talk to someone new. In many of my classes I have made friends that I talk to everyday. Outside of school when I’m with my friends I become more of an extrovert. My personality around people depends on how comfortable I am with them.

My name is number 21. A few ones, a five, a nine and a three. Leader, free spirit, compassionate and humor.  I would never change my name. I have become connected and couldn’t imagine being called anything else. My personality traits are connected to the name— Jessica.  A loyal friend, overthinker, pale pink and a field of tulips.