Today is the day. And here I am, sitting in a creepy alleyway, with a drunk guy. I love my mom and all I just…I can’t bring myself to go. I don’t want to see all the distraught faces looking at me, like my case is the saddest case in the world. Like they know what I’m going through, because none of them do. None of them had to see what I saw.

The day she died, right before her heart stopped, I told her I hate her. Well, I didn’t say I hate her I said something more along the lines of “you’re the worst mother ever I hope you die!!”, but I didn’t want her to die. And I’ve been obsessing over it ever since she did. It was like pointing at a bird then watching it fly into a tree.

The thing is, the gun was supposed to be a joke. They didn’t know I was going to use it as a weapon. I was known as the girl who treated everything gingerly. The girl who would never hurt a fly. The petite girl with the auburn hair and the big, innocent, brown eyes. At lunch one day, my soccer friends - my old friends - were thinking about what to get me for my birthday. Of course Samantha - who regarded me as a nonentity ever since she became class president in 4th grade - happened to overhear and she said, “Why don’t you get the angel some wings?”. Her groupies laughed, but my friends could tell I was annoyed, so they got me the opposite. The thing that takes away a persons innocence.

Of course the gun was real -we weren‘t frugal people- but I didn’t know it was real until I attempted to use it. I suspected it was real, it looked expensive. I was at Applebee’s with my friends late one night after school. My mom texted me to get something from the grocery store- which was a block away from Applebee‘s- after dinner, I went for her, because at the time I was a good daughter. I passed a club on my way to the grocery store when a drunk guy was walking out. The guy started following me. I remembered that I never took the gun that my friends got me for my birthday out of my bag. I was scared out of my wits, I was honestly hoping it worked. And it did. Boom. The feeling was so empowering. I knew I couldn’t give it up.

I took the body and put it in my car. I didn’t know what to do so I just left it there. After a week, the body was emitting this terrible smell. My moms car was in the repair shop, so she used mine, and she figured it out. She said she would tell dad, I’m scared of my dad, and that’s why I threatened her. Because she knew I was a killer.

“Jasmine!!”

And here comes Robert, huffing and puffing. Robert is my best friend in the entire world, he’s my neighbor, and he’s also a year older than me. I tell him everything. Rob and I have been best friends ever since I was born. Our windows face each other. We have a string with a bell on each end connecting our two windows, whenever we want to talk we just pull the string and meet outside under the almond tree in my backyard.

“Where were you? Why aren’t you in there? You’re dad is worried about you,” Robert said with a distraught face, just like everyone else in there has.

“My dad is not worried about me. He had a look of disdain on his face every time he looked at me in the past three days,” I said, checking in my pocket to make sure the gun was still there.

“Jasmine,” Robert said, bending down to sit beside me, “don’t worry. Your mom knows you’re sorry, she knows you didn’t mean it.”

That’s when the tears came. How does he know if my mom forgives me or not? He didn’t see her face when she died. I did.

Robert pulled a flask from his suit pocket. This is why he’s my best friend, this is why I love him. He always knows what I need. He held the bottle out to me. I groped for it and chugged it down.

We sat together in silence for a while, but we didn’t need to talk to feel close. We just needed to be together. Rob got up and held out his hand to me, I cowered away from it.

“Come on Jas, it’s 11:08, everyone is probably in your house, eating and drinking by now. You can’t stay out here forever. Plus this alleyway smells like a garbage dump.”

“Why not?”

“Everyone’s going to know you’re missing, we live in Austin, Nevada, not exactly the most populated city in America. Word gets around pretty quickly here. Our town just loves to gossip,” Robert always has a point. Even though I’m only 16 and he’s 17, I feel like he’s had centuries of more experience. Whenever I need help or advice, he is my recourse.

“Do I have to?” I asked hopefully.

“Yeah, you can’t avoid your life forever.”

“Maybe not forever, but for now please let me stay?”

“Come on, even that drunk guy is getting up now,” Robert said, but he was lying, the drunk guy was never getting up. He was dead.






**

I quit the soccer team the day after I killed the drunk guy. My friends tried to keep up our relationship, but I pushed them away. I dyed my hair black and I started a list. A list of people who ever did anything mean to me in my life. The first person on that list is my father, but he will be my last target.

I need to start getting good at it. Killing, I mean. I can’t just kill someone in my town, the town is so small and I’m so bad at killing, they would know when I kill a fly. That’s why I’m going to start practicing in the city. I don’t mind the drive as long as I will get good training there, as long as I know I’m not going for nothing.

I can’t do this alone. I need a partner. We’ll go on a crime spree, like Bonnie and Clyde. And I know the perfect person. Robert.





**

Me and Robert were walking home alone. It was now or never.

“Robert?”

“Whatsup Jasmine,” he replied.

“Do you remember the list you found? With my fathers name at the top?” I asked, but I didn’t wait for a reply, “well, that’s a list of people I want to kill. I’m a killer.”

I told him the whole story about the drunk guy and what happened that night. And the whole time he listened intently, completely focused on what I was saying.

“I didn’t intend on doing what I did. I just love the way the gun feels in my hands. I love the way it makes me feel, like scoring the winning goal in a game of soccer. Anyways, I want you to be my partner in crime. I want you to be my Clyde,” I said, “I want us to go incognito together, I want to kill everyone on that list. But, before I do I need to practice, so I plan on going to the city every night for an hour to practice.”

“I-” Robert said, but I didn’t let him finish.

“Before you say no, I want you to know, killing someone gives you such an empowering feeling. Just try it first.”

“I wasn’t going to say no, I was going to say there’s nothing I’d rather do,” he said with a creepy evil grin on his face.

“Phew. That’s good, because if you said no I would have to kill you, wouldn’t want anyone ratting me out.”

“You know I’d never do that to you Jas.”

“Yeah, but you can never be too sure, anyways we’ll start tonight. Meet me under the tree at 9,” I said as we parted ways to go to our houses.

I walked in my house and went straight to my computer. I have to learn everything I can about my gun, to know what it’s capable of, to know how well I can kill with it. I googled my gun, and I found out it is really good. I ordered one for Rob, he’ll need one if he wants to keep up with me.






**

Of course Robert was already there when I left my house at 8:59, Robert was always early. He was dressed in black. Oops, that’s what I forgot to tell him, good thing he’s smart. We smiled at each other.

“Your smile’s too bright, it looks like a flashlight in the dark, try not to smile too much,” I told Rob.

“You’re the boss lady,” Robert said in a nonchalant tone, “my car or yours?”

“Mine, lets go.”

We got into my car and I started to drive. I was going 70 on the highway, and it felt so exhilarating. Rob was holding onto his chair for dear life. I laughed my crackly laugh. Me and him on the road, this is what should always be. No one to tell us what to do, no dad to scream at me for his faults, no anyone.

“So, where exactly are we going?” Rob asked, screaming over the engine.

“The city, I’m going to…kill, and you will keep a vigil and warn me when anyone comes.”

“And when do I get to kill?”

“When you get the gun I ordered you,” I said, “surprise!!”

“You got me a gun?!? Awesome!”

I smiled at him. I love him so much.





**

We got home not so long after midnight. It was a great night, two killings. And we burned the bodies in an empty field. I could tell that Rob was a little nervous at first, but he got the hang of it after a while.

I took a shower and got into my comfiest pajamas.

“Jasmine!” I heard my dad scream, it was loud, he must be in close proximity to my room, “why didn’t you shut the dryer?! Now all my clothes shrunk!!!”

“Dad, stop. It wasn’t my fault. You didn’t even tell me you put things in the dryer. Anyways, I was out all night.”

“You left without telling me?!” now he was starting to irritate me. I don’t regret putting him at the top of my list.

“Are you kidding me?! You haven’t even acknowledged my presence since mom died! You didn’t even know I left!!” this shut my dad up. He left the room with an angry, red face. I love the satisfaction of getting the last word, which I always do. I went to sleep smiling.






**

I went to school the next day with a smile on my face. The smile didn’t go with my new goth look, it looked out of place. When I saw Rob in the hallways I pulled him to the side.

“Tonight, let’s make it 8 o clock this time, start a little earlier. Same place,” I whispered to Rob. Rob nodded in reply.






**

I got home at 5:30, I had detention, no surprise there. When I got to my house I found a FedEx box sitting on the steps. I was ecstatic. The gun came.

I ran to my room, ripped the box open and held the gun in my hand. Even unused it felt powerful in my hands. I ran my hands over the cool hard metal. I love this.

I walked to my closet and picked out a black outfit for tonight. I know I don’t really need to pick it out, just throw on a black shirt and leggings, but I want to impress Robert. I picked out a black shirt and my ripped leggings.

I sat staring at the clock waiting for 8 to roll around. At 7:59 I left my house and met Rob at the tree. Tonight I made sure to leave a note for my dad, in a place I knew he would look, in the freezer on the ice-cream. He always goes for the ice-cream right when he comes home from work, my mom used to stop him but now since no one is really around to stop him, he has it every night.

Rob saw me and started to walk towards my car. I ran to catch up with him.

“Do you want to drive?” I asked.

“No thanks, I’m good,” he replied. We got in my car and started to drive, “why are you going this way?”

“Well, in the city we went to last night, they’ll be expecting me again, so I figure we try a different city.”

“You’re the boss lady,” he said. Once again I was going 70 on the highway. It wasn’t a long drive, we got there in half an hour. I searched a few blocks. Drunk guys were the best targets, they usually didn’t have any relatives, and if they did the relatives didn’t care enough to look for them.

Rob pulled out his phone and texted someone something, I didn’t suspect anything. It was probably just a girl asking for the homework. I found the perfect place. You could barely tell it’s anything at all, it looks abandoned. I parked the car a block away and let Rob come with me this time.

We strolled down the street. When we got to the door I put a finger to my mouth, signaling him to not say anything. He nodded. I crept into the bar hiding the gun in my shirt. Me and Rob sat by the bar and ordered two drinks, so we would blend in. I saw someone leave so I got up to follow him.

“I’m going to get some fresh air,” I told Rob, Rob knows where I’m going, but the bartender doesn’t.

“I’ll come, I’m ready to go anyways,” said Rob paying for our drinks and we left.

We went outside and found the drunk guy sitting by the dumpsters. I walked straight up to him with my gun pointing at his head. I was ready to shoot when the police came.

“This is the girl?” the policeman asked Rob.

“Yeah, that’s her,” he answered.

“What? Rob? You planned this?” I asked completely taken aback.

“Yes, I did. You’re turning into this monster. You’re killing people for no apparent reason. Because it makes you feel good is not a reason. I told your dad about the list and he committed suicide today. That’s why he never came home. In the car I texted Dylan,” Rob said, pointing at the police man, “and told him where we were going. I love you Jasmine, as more than a friend, and I can’t stand to see you like this. They’re going to take you to Queensboro Correctional Facility in New York. Maybe when you come out we can be friends. Bye Jasmine.”

And I got taken away. Those were the end of my killer days.