the secret of blood part one | Teen Ink

the secret of blood part one

April 20, 2012
By ShawnaL BRONZE, West Newton, Pennsylvania
ShawnaL BRONZE, West Newton, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
god made coke god made pepis god made me oh so sexy god made rivers god made lakes god made you well we all make mistakes


Chapter 1
p.o.v- Jane
"oh, my god!" Kat, my annoying little sister, said with a gasp. I woke up abruptly. "What now?" i asked still in a hayes. She just continued to stare at me. "What!?!" I asked angerly. "Your nose." she wimpered. I reached up to touch my nose when i felt something warm and wet. I pulled my hand down to see it covered in blood. My mom turned around, and almost passed out.

"Joy, iI have a stepmother who can't see blood. This is ganna be fun" I said sarcasticly.

"Shes not a 'step mother' shes our mommy!" Kat said trying to stand up for her.

"No, shes your 'mommy' shes my stepmother!" I said endin the conversation.

"Just hold this up to your nose." my da said handing me a tissue wile keeping one hand on the steering wheel of our RV. Somewhere between Kat trying to wake up her mother, and me holding a tissue to my nose i fell back asleep. The RV stopped right as I woke up. My dark brown hair died with blood, a tissue stuck up my nose, different clothes on then i fell asleep in. "Yepp this is ganna be the worst move EVER!" i thought to myself.

"Get your stuff out of the RV, and wake up your sister." my dad told my sister.

"Oh, joy! Why would you do this to me dad?" i mumbled with sarcasum wile my sister screamed.

"JANE!!!!!!!!" She screamed.

"I'm up!" I yelled back.

I quickly grabed my stuff and started to run. "I'm going to bed! Don't bug me!" I yelled still runnung. "And stay out of my room!!!" I added with emphisys.

Finding the second biggest room, I ran in and slamed the door shut. I unpacked; rearnged my room, three times; and layed down on my bed.

"I'm not just ganna lay here all night. I'm not even tired yet!"i started to think.

The window in my room was right above the garage. I climbed out, and the garage roof begun to shake.

"I better hurry." I mumbled.

I shimmyed over to the edge of the garage, and jumped off. Landing safely on my feet, I stated to walk. Where i was going, I'm not sure. Yet somehow i knew who to get back.

Once I got to the city, compared to the stupid country like like area I live in now, I heard a scream.

"Help!" the voice cryed. I ran trying to find the sorce.

"Help Me Please!" the voice squielled. I peeked around the corner of a building to see a tall man dressed in all black and had a black ski mask on holding a gun to a young girls head.

"Scream all you want, no one will come." he said with an evil chukle. His deep dark voice reapeting its self through my head. "HEY!" I screamed feeling confident ,proud, and strong. "Oh, crap! why did i just do that?" i asked myself.

"Leave her alone!" i finished yelling feeling shy, scared, and confused.

"Why don't you make me?" he asked still with a chuckle. He changed where the gun was pointed. Now it was on me.

"Okay.... I will...." i said with my voice trailing off. The man went from a chukle to a laugh ;and pulled the trigger, three times. The first two missed me , but the third one hit my right in the stomach. Feeling acomplished the man walked up to me and made a sny comment.

"You still feeling tough little girl?" He asked.

"You wanna stand up to me again?"

I paused to take a breath.

"Bite me!" i said spitting out blood

"What was that?" he asked as if he didnt hear me with anger in his voice.

I stood up holding my right hand to my wound.

"Oh, i'm sorry. You probably didnt hear me corectly. I said ' B-I-T-E... M-E!' " I said dumbing it down.

"You have bad hearing or something?" I finished acting like i wasn't about to die.


The author's comments:
i wrote this for fun i hope you like it.

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DanielM SILVER said...
on May. 19 2012 at 10:36 pm
DanielM SILVER, Kent, Washington
6 articles 1 photo 245 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would rather hated million times for what i did then loved a million times for what i didn&#039;t do.&quot; - Daniel Moto<br /> &quot; I&#039;ve sought out to be the best i could posibly be but when i hit a roadblock in life what did i do, i had two choices either stay at the roadblock or i take this roadblock and make of it and go around it and achieve my goal. So, what will it be?&quot;- Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &quot;People take love like its a four letter word or just a phrase that you tell people or your friends all the time. But in reality love is much bigger than a merely phrase or 4 letter word. Instead love is a genuine promise or covenant to that special person.&quot;-Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;Why change yourself when you were made perfect and wonderfully by the creator of everything?&rdquo; &ndash; Daniel Mathia <br /> <br /> &ldquo;If live is not hurtin then were really not living in.&rdquo; &ndash; B. Reith

You have a unique way of writing. It was pretty intersting to read it. Great Job!!

Maybe what i would suggest is spacing out some of the lines in the beggining. other than that it was awesome