IT WAS COMMING UP Again....
like it always does ...that faithful congregation of tears....it swiftly moved down my cheeks...through layes of makeup...ruining the foundation ...smudging my MAC mascara...but this was one of those tsunamis ...one of those tremendous uproars inside me that just bursted out.
he was my friend...atleast thats what i wanted to believe...he called me his best friend..the first time he did that came as a shock to me..
we were on our common gardens tank...our spot...where the popular kids sat n played truth and dare..
it was nice eveninig and after spending hours at the coffeshop we met at our regular hub.
All of a sudden sam stood up and announced ..'anu is my best friend'
i was shocked in all sense of the term..i smiled but wondered deep inside 'who is he?????i dont even talk to him... why am i his BEST friend??'
probably before this would consume me completely i decided...maybe i should try and interact with him...just..just to know why AM I HIS BEST FRIEND
thats where it began..i listened to what he spoke instead of just hearing..l..he loved to talk just like me ...people stereotyped himas a person who kept jabbering nonsense philosophies..but after paying attention i realized that his thoughts wer worth listening to (probably with some editing)and he definately had a heart of gold ...later i began to discover things like he was born three days after me..and thats why we two wild aquarians clicked..
zack interrupts my chain of thot and hugs me tight...he is MY best friend..he can guess whats wrong with me..before i can myself...he then asks quietly ...his whisper almost startleS me.as it breaks the monotony of sobs....the whole gathering of teenage girls in decked up gowns were crying but those were tears of happiness..those were the tears let out because of the beauty of growing up...the grace of blossoming as graduates of junior high
but zack was persistent he knew i wasnt crying because of the common cause..he could differenciate...he asked me directly 'now what did that dog do'....it was a simple question but it made me smile...it made me realize that my best friends sparkling black eyes and spirit arownd me ,with me,for me,had no end..
in his hug i drifted down memory lane as his patience was tested with me sobbing all over his new tux.
i remembered those painful words 'youre the most selfish person i know'
the words like ' ill rate you a 0.5 on 10...'
simple playful things that hit me hard..
i had no reason to complain...i have such meaningless conversations with every second person i noe..but for some awkward reason when he said it it felt like i just had a poison shot..
he would say one mean, demoralizing thing atleast 17 times in a sentence...
My other friends always said he liked me.....and sometimes when he wouldent act like such a dog..he really treated me like a princess.
on our monsoon dance last year my slippers snapped ...so i had to throw them away and walk barefoot after about half a km...i began mourning becoz of my aching feet..he sweetly came over n picked me up in his arms and started walking ...those ten minutes off the grownd..in his strong arms made me feel soo special..
once the principal was yelling at the council members and since i was a president she pointed at me....sam almost yelled at her,,he took on all the blame ..now is that sweet or what.
these are few of those priceless moments because of which i never could let those three toxic words out 'I HATE U'
he was awful...he would ruin my day by just saying something slightly mean..what was amusing is that i would have simply cracked if somebody else would have said such stuff to me ..but with him i just became weak ...and weaker...it hurt me ...like hemlock had been injected into me....
probably i liked him but then when id admit that ...those horrible things he said would come back...all those heartless statements that made mi pillows wet in tears..
almost all of my friends told me that i was too good for him and i was wasting my time even thinking about his worthless talks..
that is probably precisely why it hurt soo much...because i was well accostomed to having supportive people arownd me...friends who loved me ..and admired me..but he was the only one person in my entire existence who continously critisized ...as far it is constructive its gr8 but when it reaches that limit ...it hurts and demoralizes..
zack gently lifts my head off his shoulder and asks 'did he finally give u that letter'
a sinciere tear rolls down my cheek--
he calmly says 'i knew it'
he did ...he did know it all...it was that letter..
all the important people i had met in my school life were supposed to gimme a letter today since it was both my birthday and the last official day of school..
all did...
all did...but him..
and he callsme his best friend...
and guess what he wrote my other friend a letter,....a girl he dosent even know...guess why..becoz he dint want to c the dissapointed look shed gave him when he wouldent do it...
he didnt call up to wish me and i believe it was probably the jealously that he gave andrea a letter ...and not me was probably what hurt me...as usual i was crying..
i had been crushing on dave my whole life and he asked me for the dance..i kept the answer as maybe...my friends killed me for doin dat to the hottest guy in our grade..
but i did that cozz...deep in my heart i expected sam to ask me...
i knew he wanted to...but he just couldent
all these emotions came out...in the forn of words...
over that one cup of coffe...
TODAY im in the second week of high school...im completely over those emotions..and now sam and me are at our favorite coffe shop ..catching up after school..
where he tells me...
i wish ..i wish i had told u before ....that i wanted to ask u for the dance...i wrote u aletter but dint have the guts to take it out of mi pocket and gve it to u..
but this didnt have any effect on me ...i smiled....i felt rainbows...i was happy not sad ...i had moved on ...i told him he is my friend...that extended family i chose myself..
he helped me grow up...he helped me learn something new..the naked bud has finally blossomed ...all over that one cuppa coffe