The moon was bright. The room that once was filled with laughter and light now felt cold and emptier than ever. If I try and reminisce about this event, I can see little old me alongside my other sister standing above my crying mother. On the other side, there is nothing but broken glass and broken furniture.

No one ever really talks about the aftermath of losing a child. Deep down no one really wants to have a sit-down conversation about what happens next. And at the time when my parents should have been having these conversations, I was a newborn–a preemie. The death of my twin sister left my mother in the most vulnerable state one could imagine.

No one ever really talks about how losing a child could affect your mental health. But, at the same time for a mother to lose her child but still have another child to care for is when it hits the hardest. At the time no one really knew about my mother's heartache so family and friends could leave her alone. But what my mother didn’t know is when you push things aside and bottle them up over time you begin to lose yourself. And that’s exactly what happened.

Fast forward to when I was three. By then my mother grew a strong addiction to drinking and quit her job as a veterinarian. One night I remember this conversation so clearly that my father came home late from work and my mother said “Where have you been? You got off work several hours ago. For the past week or two, you’ve been getting home late. What’s up with that? Are you hiding something from me?”  And at the time we used to think that mother was just drunk and nothing more to it. But little did we know my father was having an affair with an 18-year-old.

No one really talks about it but when you lose a child and begin to not take care of yourself, your significant other will more than likely find something else to keep him entertained. It is sad to say but yes eventually this affair led to my parent's divorce.

 The night leading up to their final split my mother had enough of it and couldn’t handle the pain anymore and waited till my father got home and once he did, she began throwing furniture at him. The house where we grew up at the time had this huge square glass room and now in days they use them to display wine but this is where we would normally have our family dinners. Before my dad started coming home late.

Anyways my mom and dad having the worst fight possible began throwing stuff at one another. The next thing you know my father threw my mother into that very glass room. As my mother struggled to get up my dad quickly grabbed his stuff and left us. He left his family for an 18-year-old woman. He left his three children with their crying mother on the floor.

No one really talks about how one minute you could have a loving happy family and the next having to switch every weekend visiting mom and dad. No one really talks about how breaking apart a family will affect the kids involved. For me, I always thought “yay two birthdays, two of every holiday, and two different rooms”. But those thoughts were selfish. Eventually, my mother lost herself to drinking and couldn’t handle taking care of us. And one day my siblings and I waited at our normal bus stop for our mother to pick us up, but she never came, she was gone. When we finally made it back to the house. There was no sign of her. Purse and everything were still in one place. She was just gone. Gone with the blink of an eye.

Next thing you know police show up with my father and aunt. They said to us “Here fill this black bag up with as much as you can, you have 15 minutes.”

To this day I always question if my twin sister were to survive would my parents still be together? Would I get a normal childhood with my mother? These questions to this day are the reason I keep on going so that one day I can have a family of my own and give them the childhood and family I never got to experience.

On the other hand, one could say my dad just left my mom because he fell out of love. And although this is very common in most cases, my parents loved each other. But I just think my father loved the idea of my mother and didn’t love her for her. What is that saying, “through sickness and health” My father didn’t stick to his promise to my mother. He abandoned her.

In a sense although many families when this occurs, find ways to work it out and stick it through. And one can argue with you and say what about my father's feelings? Why was no one there for him? Truth is my father hates death, and he copes differently. In the end yes parents divorcing does not always end badly for their children. And yes, many parents lose their children, it is inevitable.

Although a person can have an opposing view. This is my story on how the death of my sister led to the divorce of my parents. Even though it is sad to even say, it is the hard truth. That one ever wants to admit.