Maybe | Teen Ink

Maybe

October 1, 2011
By xoNisaxo, Panama City, Florida
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xoNisaxo, Panama City, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Author's note: Truly, my inspiration to ever consider pursuing this was my vision of how a guy should treat a girl. All males at my school had been immature jerks who knew nothing when it came to proper relationship and the feelings of a girl. Thus, I began imagining a story completely based from a man's point of view, showing how one should feel about loving a woman. And this is what that came to be.

The author's comments:
Ah! I'm so nervous about posting this, because I'm not sure what you're going to think of it! I love the idea, however, and I'm anxious to hear your hopefully positive comments!

Chapter One

“Ryan,” her sweet voice sobbed down the phone placed firmly to my ear. I stood in the kitchen of my small, yet cozy apartment, leaning my back against a single bar stool. Intently, I listened to the words she was speaking, each one coming out gentle and angelically even though she was crying uncontrollably. “He did it again.”

A sigh escaped my lips as she said this, and I instantly knew what she was referring to. Running a hand through my hair quickly, I exhaled deeply, asking her, “What did he do this time, beautiful?”

She sniffled, probably lifting up her hand to wipe her running nose. “Erc...he, he,” she stuttered, letting out a small whimper. “I went over to his house like I do every afternoon, and I….I heard something coming from his room, so I walked up the stairs to see what he was doing. And-“ She paused, unable to get the last of her sentence out; her emotions were taking over. “—A-and when I opened the door, he was on top of some other girl! Another girl, Ryan! How could he do that to me?”

“It’s not like that’s the first time,” I muttered to myself bitterly. There was a pause on her side, so I took the moment of silence to allow my brain to process the events. Eric was her jerk of a boyfriend, whom she had been with for two, horrifyingly long years. She always claimed that he was the sweetest thing ever, her prince charming. I worked to keep out the anger, but I could feel it streaming though my veins, driving me mad. No matter how many times this happened, it never hurt any less. She said Eric loved her. If he loved her, he would feel her pain like it was his own, like I felt her pain.

The thought of her loving him and of Mr. Cheater made me physically sick in my stomach.

Her beautiful, flawless skin. Her cute little button nose. Her long eyelashes. That gorgeous, breathtaking smile. And her ability to always make me smile. It was all utterly amazing. Something Eric surely isn’t.

“W-what?” she croaked out, unfortunately hearing my oh-so-true side comment. Shaking my head, I removed myself from the stool and grabbed my coat from the hook placed near my front door. I placed the phone between my neck and my shoulder, attempting to hold it in place without dropping it as I slipped on the piece of clothing. As I tried to pull the left sleeve over the corresponding arm, the mobile device dropped to the floor with a small thud. Muttering a few curse words, I bent down to retrieve it and, once it was within my grasp, I spoke to her. “Nothing, Brae. It was nothing.”

With the keys to my car in hand, I reached for the door handle. “I’m coming over, okay? I’ll be over in about ten minutes. Stay strong for me?”

Somehow, I could feel her nod through the phone. “Okay,” she whispered sadly, “thank you, Ryan. You’re the best friend I could ever ask for.”

I hung up.

Right, your best friend. That’s all I’ll ever be.

Inwardly cursing myself for being a loser unable to express his feelings towards the girl he has loved practically his entire life, I began walking to the vehicle in which I would drive to her house in. It unlocked with a simple click of the clicker connected to my key chain, and I opened the door, placing myself in the driver’s seat.

Keys placed in the ignition, my foot on the gas pedal, and quiet music now playing from the speakers, I pulled out of my curbside parking space between two other cars, out onto the street, and to Braelyn’s house.

Braelyn lived in an apartment as well, however, in a completely different complex just down the street. It was about the same size as mine, maybe a little bigger, but it definitely fit her personality more than mine would ever relate to me. She’s a happy person, always willing to do whatever it is she felt like doing when she woke up that morning. Her goal in life had always been to live a life worth telling or writing down. When it came to Braelyn, a boring life was totally and completely unacceptable.

Arriving at her apartment, I parked the car as close as possible to the entrance. Usually, that’s pretty hard, considering how many people live here. Most of the time, when I actually find a space, it’s half way back to my apartment.

Okay, well, not that far, but you get my point: there are a lot of other cars.

Once the car was parked, I hopped out through the open door, my feet hitting the hard cement sidewalk as I did so. The somewhat cold breeze that always seemed to evolve at night hit me almost instantly, and I couldn’t help but shiver and hold my jacket closer to my body in attempt to stay warm. A bright light shone down. I soon realized that it was a street lamp across the path. It was somewhat bent, due to the huge storm we had a couple of days ago. The fact that it was still working remains a mystery to this day.

With my mind set and determined to help the love of my life out of depression, I approached the door and knocked on it lightly. It was quiet at first, but soon the sound of feet shuffling across the floor filled my ears, and the door soon opened.

Even though her eyes were bloodshot red and majorly puffy, the most beautiful woman to ever walk the face of this Earth stood in the doorway. She reached up and wiped her eyes briefly, fixing her hair a little and gave me a light smile. I took in her features as she stared down at her feet, fidgeting.

“How you feeling, Brae?” I questioned, moving over the step and around her welcoming hand gesture leading me into her apartment. She moped over to the bright colored sofa placed in the center of her living room, throwing herself on it and stuffing her face in the comfort of her small, white pillow.

“Awful,” she spoke, her voice muffled by fluffy object. “My heart hurts.”

I rolled my eyes at the last comment. “He’s not worth your tears or heartache. He’s a jerk who doesn’t deserve someone as amazing as you.”

She shook her head. “I’m not amazing. Obviously. I mean, if I was, he wouldn’t have felt the need to find another girl, now would he?”

Moving my feet across the carpet, I reached the sofa, sitting down in front of it, my back leaning against the side. I could feel her soft breathing behind me as I said, “You’re right, you’re not amazing—“

“Gee, thanks,” she cut me off.

“—you’re way more than that. You’re so beyond amazing that all other girls quake in their way too big, ugly high heels when they are simply in the presence of you. They all wish they had such an outgoing, adventurous personality, such a sparkling smile, unique eye color, always perfect set of hair, and magically flawless skin like you do. You don’t even seem to realize how intimidating you are to other girls, how they all wish they were you.”

Sitting up and using the back of the couch to support her, Braelyn sniffled a little more, looking at me with a real smile this time. “Thank you,” she replied genuinely. “But you know what? I’m not the amazing one.”

I raised an eyebrow. Did she not hear what I just told her? She’s phenomenal, the greatest human being I’ve ever had the luck to meet. How can she—

“You are,” she finished.

Oh.

“What other guy do you know that would drive over to a girl’s house in the middle of the night, just because she found her jerk face of a boyfriend with another girl? What other guy would still be the sweetest, most thoughtful person to her when all she does is throw her piles and piles of drama onto his shoulders? You, Ryan, are truly the only person I can think of, and all I do it bring you down.”

Turning around in my sitting position, I looked at her. “What are you talking about? You don’t bring me down. It’s my job to make you feel better, to tell you how great you are, to—“

“Remind me how beautiful I am on a daily basis. I know, Ryan,” she said, sighing loudly. “If only my boyfriend had the same job….”

“If you can even consider that a boyfriend,” I muttered quietly, shaking my head. Braelyn moved from the couch and right in front of me, crossing her legs once she was seated. Using her finger, she began drawing shapes on the surface of the carpet, looking down again.

“I know he hasn’t been very faithful to me and that he may not be the best guy out there, but we’ve been together for 2 years, and it’s just hard to think about throwing that all away, you know?” she asked, her eyes tearing up again. “He doesn’t seem to show it, but he loves me, and I know it. He just makes bad choices.”

Normally, we’d have this huge, back and forth discussion of whether or not she should really be with me. She’d defend him, I’d point out all his flaws, but no matter what I said, she could never call it quits with Eric. No matter how special I tried to make her feel, no matter how much love I showed her, she always seemed to still love him. So I didn’t argue with her that time. I just stretched my arms out wide and looked at her as she threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my stomach and crying into my chest. I stroked her long, gorgeously curly hair, whispering encouraging words into her ear as she sobbed loudly, releasing all of the sad emotions that she had kept bottled inside her since this afternoon.

When her heart breaks, my heart breaks. It’s the most awful feeling in the world to watch someone as fantastic, smart, and, once again, beautiful as her cry her eyes out. It makes me just want to run over to –gag me- Eric’s house and beat him until he cries and runs to Mexico.

Seriously, he needs to jump off something.

The thoughts in my head were interrupted by the angel I was holding in my arms lifting her head and placing a sweet, loving kiss on my cheek. The corner of my lips automatically tugged upward into a huge grin as I felt her lips collide with the skin on my face. I looked down at her, that idiotic smile still on my face. At the moment, though, I didn’t really care how stupid I looked. I mean, hey, she kissed me. The girl I’m so madly in love with just kissed my cheek. I’m sure you’d looked exactly like I did at that very moment, too.

“What would I do without you?” she whispered softy, her head instantly hiding in the crook of my neck. It was my turn to sigh as I rested my chin on her shoulder.

“I ask myself the same thing everyday,” I found myself replying. Love had always seemed like such a simple thing. Something easy to find, easy to hold onto. But I soon came to realize that the only person I could really, truly love was the girl who had always belonged to someone else. To her, I was just the shoulder to cry on, the best friend. I had hoped and hoped that if I stuck with her, put up with all the drama, picked up the Ben & Jerry's when she was sad, and beat up all the ex boyfriends who broke her heart, that one day she would finally realize how I felt.

That one day, maybe just maybe, I could make her mine.

The author's comments:
I loved the comments I received on chapter one! You guys are too sweet! I've actually uploaded a new, edited version for those who realized there were many mistakes. I'm awfully sorry about that!

Chapter Two

I suddenly became aware of a slight pain in my back as I awoke, moving into a sitting position. Stretching out my now stiff arms, I hoped to somewhat get rid of the pain that now filled my body. That's when I realized where I had fallen asleep: Braelyn's living room floor. Groaning, my hand moved up to my head, scratching it lightly before rubbing the sleep from my eyes. As I turned around, a loving smile spread across my lips at the sight of my gorgeous, angel of a best friend asleep on the same sofa she had placed herself on last night. Her hair was slightly tangled, her face scrunched up the slightest bit, and her eyes peacefully closed as she let out soft snores every now and then. Moving a piece of hair out of her fair, I left a tender kiss on her forehead before forcing myself off the puffy carpet I came way too familiar with that evening. Once finally on my feet, hoping I wouldn’t topple over from the fact that I was still insanely tired, I began making my way into her small, cute little kitchen, searching for a tray in one of her lower cabinet areas. It took my a while to find one, and I had browsed through at least three different sections before I noticed one perched on the top shelf of a space near her sparkling sink. A lighter colored wood, which I found perfect, was what it was made of, and I examined it before setting it on the counter behind me. My next destination was the pantry, where I found some mix in which I would use to make pancakes, then I set off to the refrigerator to grab something that would go well with them once they were cooked. A container of strawberries caught my eye, and I snatched that as well as some milk and a jar full of jelly out, placing it next to the tray. Hearing a noise erupt from the room Braelyn was sleeping in, I spun around quickly, hoping she hadn’t awaken yet. When I realized she had merely rolled over, I sighed out in relief and began to prepare her food much faster than I had been working on it before. Beginning to make the pancakes, I was about to poor the batter onto the pan when I came across heart shaped cookie cutter in her silverware drawer where I taken a fork and knife from. Grinning, I used it to shape the food into what the cutter looked like. With about seven made, I was pleased with my creation, and I grabbed a plate from above me and used the spatula to transfer them from the surface of the stove and onto it. The strawberries were next, and I chopped them up neatly, placing some next on the plate as well and another portion in a small bowl. Two cups were grabbed from yet another cabinet, and I mentally cursed her for keeping everything so scattered apart as I recalled the two drinks Braelyn prefers in the morning: Milk and coffee. So that’s what was poured into the cups. A cloth now placed on the tray, the plate full of food, coffee, milk, eating utensils, jelly, a thin, heart shaped paper, and a stick butter on top, I stepped back to admire my work.

It looked pretty good, if I do say so myself.

Carefully, I grabbed the tray with both hands, trying my best to not drop it, because, if I managed to do so, I would have killed myself. Looking around, I spotted the small table next to the TV, and I placed the food on it, picking that up and placing it on the floor next to the couch. I crouched down on the floor next to her.

“Brae,” I called, attempting to wake up her sleeping figure.

No response.

“Brae.”

She rolled over, groaning.

“Braelyn?”

Finally, I got she realized I was calling her, and, slowly, her eyelids opened, revealing those gorgeous orbs I love way too much. Grinning at her, I whispered, “Morning, beautiful.”

A small smile crept onto her lips at first, but she was soon wide-eyed, beaming at me when she caught a glance of the tray sitting on the table.

“What’s that?” she asked, sitting up and pulling her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and staring up at me.

“I made you breakfast,” I answered, moving the food so it was within her reach, and she could easily grab what she wanted with ease.

“No way.”

“Way.”

Letting out a squeal, she threw her arms around my neck, almost knowing me over, but I didn’t mind. As she began speaking a series of thank you’s in my ear, I knew I had made her happy, something I strived to do every second of minute in every day. If she was happy, I was happy.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are so amazing,” she yelled, clapping her hands together excitedly. “I can’t believe you woke up to make me all of this. You’re so sweet.”

Inside, I was complimenting myself greatly on how I deserve total props for being so thoughtful, but all I said out loud was, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eat up, gorgeous. We have a long day ahead of us.”

An eyebrow rose at me, but she said nothing as the food was devoured to just a tray full of empty plates and cups.


______________________________________________________




That day, I took her shopping. I followed behind her, letting her buy whatever she desired in any store she wanted to enter, no matter how much she hated the fact that I was spending money on her. Braelyn never liked it when others paid for her. She says it makes her feel like she’s poor or something, and they just feel bad for her. But I knew she wasn’t poor. Heck, her apartment is bigger that what I live in. And the only person I feel bad for is myself, for the fact that this beautiful, stunning girl is nothing more than my best friend.
I carried her heavy bags, refusing to let her lift a finger because, as I told her, she’s a princess and deserves to be treated like one. All that received me was a playful smack to my shoulder, but that soon turned into a smile and informing of how sweet I am, one again.

Yeah, I’m sweet. Suck that, Eric.

We then went out to lunch, something we do quite often. I took her to her favorite place, refused to let her pay again, and ran to Wal-Mart to buy her some groceries she had ran out of last week and was to lazy to go out and get. Apparently, all of that requires quite a lot of gas, because, by the time we were done, we barley had enough to drive back to her apartment. So that’s where we are now, the gas station. Bridget looked around in disgust then at me.

“I can’t believe you work here,” she said, cringing a little, and I couldn’t help but laugh at how adorable she looked when she did so. I shrugged at her comment.

“Please, you wait tables. At least I get a free sprite and Milky Way to eat/drink while I work. You have to watch other people eat,” I fought back jokingly, hoping out of the car so that I could pump the gas into my car. I kept the window rolled down, therefore, making it possible for us to hear each other and keep our conversation going.

Braelyn scoffed and replied, “For your information, I’m sure everyone would agree that your job is ten times worse than mine. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to a waitress my entire life. I actually plan to make something of myself, unlike you.”

Gasping, I placed a hand over my heart in fake hurt. “That was extremely offensive, Brae. How could you?”

“It’s okay, Justin. I know you’ve always wanted to work in a gas station. It’s been you’re dream ever since we were, what, five?” she joked back, fluttering her eyelashes quickly. Chuckling, I pulled the pump out, placing it back on its stand and taking a seat back into the vehicle. As I started the car and began pulling back onto the road, I looked over to my right, at Braelyn and said, “You, my friend, are a handful. Why do I put up with you?”

“Because you are my best friend, and you love me with all your heart.”

To me, it was suddenly very awkward, and the only thought that ran through my head was ‘if only she knew.’ So I coughed, clearing that out of my mind and tried to start up something different to draw us away from the whole ‘because you love me’ thing, in fear that I’d pull over into a ditch and confess my love for her in the middle of nowhere.

“Right,” I started. “So you still want to be a marine biologist?”

She nodded furiously, grinning widely. “Of course! I always have.”

“I thought you changed your mind when we were 10,” I stated quizzically, and to that she shook her head.

“Nah, I was just in shock from my SeaWorld experience,” she replied, shuttering a little. “Did I ever tell you about that?”

I shook my head, so she told me, “We had taken that trip to Orlando for spring break, and I wanted to see the Beluga whales because, you know, they were my favorite. Well, to my horror, they happened to be mating at that time of the year, and I was pushed up against the glass, unable to move because of all the people--”

I burst out laughing, but calmed myself as she shot me a glare.

“—I was traumatized for like 2 years.”

After driving for a little bit longer, about 5 minutes down the road, we were back at the residence in which she lived. Jumping out quickly, I jogged over to Braelyn’s side, opening the door for her and offering my hand. She climbed out, using my hand for support and thanked me. Tipping my hat toward her and using a really bad impression of a British accent, I told her she was welcome. Using her key, she opened the door to the apartment and let us in, throwing them onto the table near the door once inside. She turned to me, smiling.

“Thank you for today, Justin,” she said, motioning for me to come over, which I did happily. Just like last night, she placed her soft, pink lips on my cheek. “You really don’t have to do these kind of things for me, but I really appreciate them; I appreciate you.”

I know it’s not right for a man to blush, but I couldn’t help the instant heat I felt on my cheeks as she said this, and I looked down, mumbling a, “Anytime, beautiful.”

And she scurried off to her bathroom shower; ready to wash off all the tiring activates we had done today. Feeling completely comfortable and at home, I found the remote and plopped myself onto the couch to watch some TV. I began flipping through the channel, finally deciding that there was nothing interesting on and settling on an old episode of SpongeBob. Even though I was much older now, I still loved that little, square sponge. Sighing in happiness, I smiled, thinking of what a great day I had. Knowing I made the love of my life happy made all the attempts worth commencing. With my feet up on the coffee table in front of me, thoughts of Braelyn taking over my mind, I couldn’t have felt more contempt than I did at that very moment.



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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 5 comments.


on Mar. 13 2012 at 8:43 am
BrandonTaylorsgirl, North Providence, Rhode Island
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
i have none

i can relate to the character in your story a lot

on Nov. 24 2011 at 10:57 am
KierstenMarie, Houma, Louisiana
0 articles 1 photo 2 comments

I enjoyed reading it. It was sweet and I hope to read more.

Please read and leave comments on my stories. It would be greatly appreciated. :)


on Nov. 10 2011 at 12:24 pm
Jurdibird SILVER, North Tonawanda, New York
8 articles 2 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;One need not be a chamber to be haunted&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;I&#039;m impossible to forget, but I&#039;m hard to remember.

This is cute! I love the male main character, he is such a sweetie!

on Oct. 15 2011 at 10:15 am
TanazMasaba GOLD, Dhaka, Other
16 articles 10 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You&#039;ve gotta dance like there&#039;s nobody watching,<br /> Love like you&#039;ll never be hurt,<br /> Sing like there&#039;s nobody listening,<br /> And live like it&#039;s Heaven on Earth.&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> ---William W. Purkey

*Sob* this is so SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!

 

I mean seriously, even though the girl sounds like a total idiot, I love the guy and the plot. But I'll praise you later, lets get the criticism out of the way.

 

umm...there wasn't much problem with your sentence structures.....not a single spelling mistake (two thumbs for that!).....your details and description of not just the narrator but also the surroundings was perfect and not too distracting, giving the reader a good background scenery to settle into..........

 

"Inwardly cursing myself for being such a loser who is unable to express his feelings toward the girl he has loved practically his entire life, I began walking to the vehicle in which I would drive to her house. It unlocked with a simple click of the clicker connected to my key chain, and I opened the door, placing myself in the driver's seat."

Okay, if you have any errors, its in the above extract. You mixed past and present tenses together. That is like a major flaw (and even I make the mistake all the time!). If you choose past tense, stick with it except in speeches. If you choose present tense, stick to that all the way through.....

 

Other than that there is nothing else really. A wonderful job done. 5 stars deserved!


on Oct. 15 2011 at 6:37 am
love2love17 GOLD, Springfield, Missouri
13 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. -Mae West

Oh, this is beautiful! I can't wait to read more!! Great job. There were a few grammatical errors, but otherwise it was great! :) Let us know when you have more!