“Next contestant, Julianna Schneider”
My breath quickens
My heart beats vigorously
I feel it pouding in my head
The warmth escapes my hands
Leaving my fingers numb
Seven years of persistence
Countless hours spent on the same bench
Everyday
The endless repetition of passage after passage
All the sweat, blood, and tears
Lead up to this moment
As my wobbly legs walk me towards the piano bench
The melodies in my head become louder and louder
They deafen me
Self-doubt knocks on the door of my mind
The room spins in front of me
Tremors shake my ice cold hands
Stop
You’ve done this a thousand times
Just take it slow
I bow and take a seat
I stare down
Observing the stark contrast of the black and white
I close my eyes
I think of my breath only
In
Out
In
Out
In
Out
The room is dead silent
It’s just the piano and I
I envision my hands dancing across the keys
I count
1, 2, 3
And strike the first chord
The sound reverberates as it fills the room
My mind is clear
My fingers nimble
I dive straight into the music
Immersing myself in the harmonies
Scales, intervals, chords, arpeggios
They all come out crystal clear
And before I realize it
It’s over
The audience applauds
I stand and bow
Relief washes over me
Pride fills the hole left by anxiety
Fulfillment replaces insecurity
A sense of achievement, ushers in the knowledge that it’s not about the prize
It’s about the dedication
The effort
The willpower needed
To reach this point
This moment
This experience
And I smile